Sunday, May 10, 2009

Mother's Day

I found this poem and found it to be an appropriate post for today.Its a rough day for me, even though I do have my son here to celebrate with me, I am missing my girls today. Happy Mothers Day!

-- author unknown

I thought of you and closed my eyes
And prayed to God today
I asked "What makes a Mother?"
And I know I heard Him say.

"A Mother has a baby"
This we know is true
"But God can you be a Mother,
When your baby's not with you?"

"Yes, you can," He replied
With confidence in His voice
"I give many women babies,
When they leave is not their choice.

Some I send for a lifetime,
And others for the day.
And some I send to feel your womb,
But there's no need to stay."

"I just don't understand this
God I want my baby to be here."
He took a deep breath and cleared His throat,
And then I saw the tear.

"I wish I could show you,
What your child is doing today.
If you could see your child's smile,
With all the other children and say...

'We go to Earth to learn our lessons,
Of love and life and fear.
My Mommy loved me oh so much,
I got to come straight here.

I feel so lucky to have a Mom,
Who had so much love for me.
I learned my lessons very quickly,
My Mommy set me free.

I miss my Mommy oh so much,
But I visit her every day.
When she goes to sleep,
On her pillow's where I lay

I stroke her hair and kiss her cheek,
And whisper in her ear.
Mommy don't be sad today,
I'm your baby and I'm here.'

"So you see my dear sweet ones,
your children are okay.
Your babies are born here in My home,
And this is where they'll stay.

They'll wait for you with Me,
Until your lesson's through.
And on the day that you come home
they'll be at the gates for you.

So now you see what makes a Mother,
It's the feeling in your heart
it's the love you had so much of
Right from the very start

Though some on earth may not realize,
you are a Mother.
Until their time is done.
They'll be up here with Me one day
and know that you are the best one!"

Friday, May 1, 2009

I am Angry

I haven't posted in a while, not because I haven't had anything to share, but I have had too much and not enough time. This post wasn't something I planned on writing, but as I was doing the dishes today I needed to stop and get this off my chest.

For those of you who don't know or forgot, I lost my twin daughters 6 months ago. It feels like everyone forgot.

It does NOT hurt any less now and I am not "over it", and FYI, I will Never be "over it".

It drives me crazy how after such a huge thing, life just goes on. I look around at the people around me working, playing, and living and they just have no idea! The women at the coffee stand who is raving on about how her friend just gave birth, and then she shows me pictures, has no idea she is ripping my heart out. It's all just so hard.

I am struggling, if you hadn't noticed. The shock of losing my daughters has worn off and I am having a hard time. You may not see it when you look at me or talk to me, but I am. I am so angry that God let this happen that I can barely stand it. I want to scream at Him and ask Him why! I have lost my trust in Him. I don't like that, but I have. Everytime I hear of something wonderful He is doing in someone elses life, I get more angry with Him. Pray if you want, but it does me no good. I have come to realize that prayer in my life does not help. I wish it did and i have tried and many people have prayed for me, but its just a waste of time. I am sorry if this offends anyone and i may be saying this all out of anger, but I just needed to say it.

Thursday, April 9, 2009

My Angels

I haven't written a blog about what happened with my daughters yet. There was a reason for that, I wasn't ready. I felt like if I wrote about, I had to believe it. It has been 5 months since my beautiful baby girls passed away and it is now all sinking in. I am realizing that this is forever. For the rest of my life I will feel the pain of missing them and that is something I wish I didn't have to go through.

I found out I was pregnant May of '08. It was the weekend after my sons 4th birthday. We were so excited, yet scared at the same time because we had suffered a miscarriage 3 months prior. I couldn't wait to get to my 12 week appointment where I could feel like we were "safe". I had no idea what i was about to find out!! At 6 weeks I went in to confirm my pregnancy. The Dr. did an ultrasound and said all she could see was one empty sac and I may have a blighted ovum. She sent me for blood work and told me to come back in a week. My test results ended up being great, and I went back the next week. I went to this appointment by myself. While the ultrasound tech was doing my ultrasound I thought I saw a second heartbeat. She assured me that there was just one baby. I relaxed a bit until I heard, "Ohhhh, wait a minute!" My heart skipped a beat, I knew exactly what she was about to say. I was pregnant with twins!!!!! I couldn't wait to tell my husband!! They said that one of the babies was MUCH smaller than the other and most likely wouldn't make it, but there was a chance. I KNEW at that time I would get to meet both my daughters. I knew they would both make it.

The next few weeks were good. I was tired and had really bad morning sickness. But I was so happy. I felt like God was "giving back" the baby I had lost with the miscarriage. At 10 weeks I had a bit of bleeding but it passed and we made it through to 12 weeks with everything looking great!! Up until 17 1/2 weeks everything was good, but that's when S**t hit the fan. On Sept. 3rd at 11pm I woke up to use the bathroom. When I stood up I felt a gush of water. I had no idea your water could break that early! I woke up my husband and he said I probably peed myself and to go back to bed. I knew this was not the case. I told him I needed to call the hospital. The nurse on the phone said pretty much the same thing my husband did, but said if I needed to, to go to the ER. I did just that. I was told that night at the ER it was not my water and was told to go home and see my Dr. first thing in the morning. As a mother, I KNEW something was wrong, VERY wrong. I was terrified. The next morning I went to the Dr. and it was confirmed that baby b's water had broken. I had a couple options. I could induce labor and lose them both then or go home and see what happens. My Dr. said I would most likely go into labor within 24 hours. Boy did I prove her wrong!

I ended up being on bed rest for 6 weeks at home until I passed a huge blot clot one night and was admitted to the hospital. I still don't know where that blood clot came from. My care was transferred to a high risk OB and I was sent from my local hospital to one farther away that had a level 3 NICU for when my daughters were born. I had an irritable uterus and they put me on magnesium sulfate for the first 3 days in the hospital to relax my uterus. It worked but the mag was awful stuff!! It felt like I had a bad case of the flu and I couldn't drink lots of fluids because it could cause fluid in my lungs. It was horrible! Once everything was going smoothly I was told I would be there until the day my daughters were born. It could be anywhere from one day to 3 months! I have a 4 year old son and being away from him and my husband for the time I was there was heartbreaking. Luckily I had my Mom to help with everything. I would cry every time the left me. I missed my sons first day of preschool and Halloween. I ended up being there for 3 weeks, and up until then, it was the hardest 3 weeks of my life.

My daughters were born on November 3rd. I had gone into labor at around 5 in the morning and gave birth at 8:24 and 8:26 that night. I had a huge team of Dr.s and nurses in the room with us waiting to take my girls away to the NICU. Emily Nicole was born first, still in her sac of water. I was told this is very rare, so I think it is kind of cool. She tried to cry and I heard her squeak a couple times but those are the only sounds I ever heard from her. She weight 2lbs 3 oz. She was intubated and taken to the NICU. Allison Anne was born soon after also weighing around 2lbs 3oz. She was breach and suffered a bit of bruising from it, but was beautiful. We knew from prior ultrasounds she most likely would not live because she didn't have enough fluid for her lungs to develop, but we were hoping for a miracle. She was also intubated and taken to the NICU. She lived for 3 hours and to me, that was a miracle. I got to look into her beautiful little face and see her alive before she went to be with God. Her Daddy got to hold her in his arms as she was taken of the ventilators and passed away. We got to spend as long as we wanted to with her and I treasure those memories with all my heart.

Allison Anne

Emily was doing really well in the NICU and we all thought she was going to make it. She had her ups and downs, but maily normal preemie issues. On Nov. 11 we got a call saying we needed to come to the hospital right away because Emily was not going to live much longer. We raced at 90mph to the hospital where we barely made it in time to say goodbye to our sweet daughter. Her little lungs just couldn't handle the trauma from the ventilators. She also had severe brain bleed that would have cause her disability if she had lived. We spent time with her the same way we had her sister. We took pictures and dressed them both. We gave them as much love as we could in the all to short time we had with them.

Emily Nicole

I miss my daughters more than anything in this world. I wish so badly to just hold them once more. I have never felt a pain so severe as the pain I feel missing them. I think of them everyday. They are both always on my mind. Thank the Lord for my one healthy child, he is what keeps me going. I don't think I could make it through this without knowing he needs me. I would probably lay in bed and cry all day.

Some of my story has been left out just because it would take all day to write. I wish I would have had this blog while I was going through this all. My good friend kept up with most my story, you can read it here.

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Yes, I am ridiculous

Don't get me wrong, I love my husband with all my heart. Sometimes though, I don't understand what or IF he is thinking. We have been together for 7 years. We know everything about each other inside and out and sometimes can finish each others sentences. I know all his favorite things and he can even shop for clothes for me and pick out just the right thing. (Most of the time he does a better job than me!) But last night he did something that still makes my head spin......
We had an argument. He thinks I overreacted and I think he was being insensitive. We were on our way home from me picking him up from the park and ride. I asked if he minded if we stopped at the store so I could get some soup because i haven't been feeling well. He said no, he wanted to go straight home. Well, this irritated me but I did it anyway and dropped him and my son off at home. Then he gives me a list of a few things he wanted me to get while I was at the store! He can't stop at the store with me for 5 mins, but then gives me things to pick up for him?? I don't think so!! One of the items being strawberry Popsicles that he loves. So I went to the store, but in my anger, didn't get the Popsicles. Maybe a bit immature, but I was mad!
So, fast forward a couple hours. Argument over and everything is fine. He gets up and says, "I am going to the store to get MY strawberry Popsicles" Ok whatever. So he goes to the store and when he gets back, I look at him and say "Hey thanks for getting me something" Mind you that almost EVERY time I go to the store, I bring him back a "treat". I always THINK of him! I try to get things he really likes. This is how the conversation went...

Him " Are you being sarcastic?"
Me "No, you didn't get me anything"
Him " Did you look in the bag?"
Me "No, why did you get me something?"
Him "Yes" ( Looking at me as if he had gotten me my most favorite thing in the world)

This is what he pulls out of the bag....

What?! Are you kidding me right now?? For those of you who don't know me, two of my most favorite things on the planet are ice cream and chocolate. My husband, after being together for 7 years got me a "treat" that contained neither one of these things. He was even on the ice cream aisle getting Popsicles!!!! I just don't get it. He said he was "thinking of me". What in a Payday would me make him think of me?? It is caramel, which I don't really care for, and peanuts. Not chocolate, nothing else, thats it!! He said because I love peanut butter he thought I would want it. Uhhh? Ok, there is NO peanut butter in a Payday!! There are peanuts, not peanut butter. I could have understood if he got me a Reeses. That's like saying here is a tomato, because I know you like spaghetti. I know I am being ridiculous, but I am seriously bothered by this whole thing. Not that I really needed a treat, but just knowing that he thought of me and tried to get me something that I liked would have been nice. Not some random candy bar that he grabbed at the last minute.

Tomorrow is his birthday. I think I might go to Wingers (one of his favorite things are buffalo wings, this is a "wings" restaurant) and I will get him a cheeseburger!!! Then tell him I was "thinking" of him. Makes sense to me!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Just for You!! ("you" know who you are!)

A couple months ago I started scrapbooking. I never knew how fun and addicting paper crafts are!! Soon I realized that scrapbooking is very time consuming and it gets expensive having to get pictures developed all the time, when you don't have pics it's hard to scrapbook!! So my good friend introduced me to card making. I have fell in love with it! Even though its not much cheaper, it takes less time for the finished product and I like that! So here are a few pictures of my recent cards. I am still learning new techniques, but am having a great time with it!

Monday, March 23, 2009

March for Babies

This year in loving memory of my daughters I have started a March for Babies team.

I know that with the way the economy is right now it is hard for people to donate. Please remember, a donation does not have to be much! The March of Dimes actually started with Franklin D. Roosevelt during the Great Depression. In January 1938, alarmed by decades of worsening polio epidemics and the terrible toll the virus was taking on America's young, President Roosevelt established the National Foundation for Infantile Paralysis. The National Foundation emphasized the nationwide significance and non-partisan character of the polio crusade. FDR believed that people could solve any problem if they worked together. Comedian Eddie Cantor coined the phrase "March of Dimes" (playing on the popular newsreel feature "The March of Time"), appealing to radio listeners all over the country to send their dimes directly to the White House. The campaign proved to be hugely successful. The National Foundation officially changed its name to the March of Dimes in 1979.
The Polio vaccine was funded by The March of Dimes. As a result of the polio vaccine there has not been a new case of polio in the western hemisphere since 1991. Since the vaccine was found, the Mach of Dimes changed their mission to research and programs to help save babies from prematurity, birth defects and low birth weight.

March of Dimes Milestones and Timeline
January 1938
President Franklin Delano Roosevelt establishes the National Foundation for Infantile Paralysis - a unique partnership of scientists and volunteers - to conquer polio.
Eddie Cantor creates the first grassroots fund-raiser for the National Foundation, asking the public to send dimes to President Roosevelt at the White House. The effort was called the March of Dimes, which later became part of the official name of the foundation.

March of Dimes first research grant goes to Yale University.

March of Dimes first chapter is established in Coshocton, Ohio.

March of Dimes provides first iron lung to assist polio victims.

March of Dimes selects Dr. Jonas Salk to lead research on classifying polio viruses.

First Mothers March launched in Phoenix, Arizona., to raise emergency funding during a serious polio outbreak.

Virginia Apgar, M.D., develops the Apgar Score, a clinical system for evaluating an infant's physical condition at birth. By the end of the decade, it becomes the standard practice in obstetrical care throughout the world, and remains so today. Her scoring system was the crucial first step in the evolution of medical subspecialties focused on newborns. Dr. Apgar worked from 1959 until her death in 1974 for the March of Dimes.

Dr. Salk confirms the feasibility of a killed-virus vaccine for polio.

March of Dimes runs field trials of Salk vaccine with 1,830,000 schoolchildren participating. The test is the largest peacetime mobilization of volunteers in history.

April 12, 1955
Salk vaccine is declared "safe, effective and potent."

March of Dimes initiates the first concerted efforts to save babies from birth defects.

March of Dimes establishes The Salk Institute for Biological Studies in La Jolla, Calif.

Earlier March of Dimes work pays off in the development of the PKU test. This allows some forms of mental retardation to be prevented.

Oral polio vaccine, developed by Dr. Albert Sabin with funding from the March of Dimes is licensed.

March of Dimes funds the first successful bone marrow transplant to correct a birth defect.

First WalkAmerica events take place in San Antonio, Texas, and Columbus, Ohio.

March of Dimes researchers discover that alcohol consumption during pregnancy causes birth defects.

March of Dimes funds first in utero treatment for a birth defect.

April Murphy is first baby to be successfully treated in the womb for birth defects

March of Dimes calls for creation of a regional system of newborn intensive care units to save sick babies.

March of Dimes funds first prenatal diagnosis of sickle cell anemia.

March of Dimes funds first successful surgery to correct a urinary blockage in an unborn baby.

March of Dimes launches "Babies & You" program to bring prenatal education to the workplace.

March of Dimes funds development of a newborn screening test for biotinidase deficiency, which can cause mental retardation and death unless treated promptly.

March of Dimes funds research leading to the use of surfactant to treat respiratory distress syndrome(RDS). Danielle Cofey is one of first infants to be treated with life-saving surfactant therapy.

March of Dimes grantee performs the first in utero surgery to repair a diaphragmatic hernia in an unborn baby.

Blake Schultz is first baby to undergo lifesaving fetal surgery to correct a diaphragmatic hernia.

March of Dimes funds research showing that delivering babies with spina bifida by cesarean section may save them from paralysis.

March of Dimes grantees identify genes responsible for Marfan syndrome -- an inherited disorder of connective tissue, and fragile X syndrome -- the most common known familial cause of mental retardation.

March of Dimes grantee locates a gene connected with 70 to 80 percent of cases of acute leukemia in infants.

March of Dimes grantees clone gene responsible for X-linked adrenoleukodystrophy — a rare and often fatal hereditary disease characterized by adrenal failure and paralysis.

Ashanthi DeSilva and Cynthia Cutshall become first Americans to undergo gene therapy.

March of Dimes launches nationwide campaign urging women to take the B vitamin folic acid to help prevent neural tube birth defects.

March of Dimes grantees share Nobel Prize for research on fruit flies that identified master genes that control the early structural development of the body.

March of Dimes funds research showing that treating certain infections with antibiotics reduces the risk of preterm delivery.

March of Dimes-supported research on nitric oxide leads to a new treatment to save premature babies from persistent pulmonary hypertension, a deadly lung disorder.

March of Dimes volunteers help secure passage of the Mothers' and Newborns' Health Protection Act, guaranteeing a minimum hospital stay of 48 hours following delivery.

With March of Dimes support, the FDA approves fortification of grain products with folic acid.

March of Dimes grantee successfully uses deactivated HIV viruses as delivery systems for healthy genes in gene therapy.

March of Dimes grantee finds that gene abnormalities in the development of certain enzymes involved in folic acid metabolism may contribute to susceptibility to neural tube defects.

March of Dimes grantee identifies a gene for Alagille syndrome, a rare inherited disorder that causes abnormalities in different parts of the body.

March of Dimes volunteers help secure passage of the State Children's Health Insurance Program (S-CHIP), to provide health care coverage for up to 5 million children.

March of Dimes volunteers help secure passage of the Birth Defects Prevention Act, establishing a nationwide network of birth defects monitoring and research programs.

March of Dimes research leads to one of the first successful surgeries to treat spina bifida before birth. Noah Kipfmiller is one of the first babies to undergo this pioneering open-womb surgical procedure.

March of Dimes grantees successfully use gene therapy to treat hemophilia and retinitis pigmentosa in the lab.

March of Dimes volunteers developed key provisions and worked to enact The Children's Health Act of 2000. The law creates a National Center on Birth Defects and Developmental Disabilities at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, and helps states to expand newborn screening.

March of Dimes launches a partnership with the Dutch-based de Waal Foundation to provide prenatal care and birth defects prevention information to women in Ecuador, Honduras and Nicaragua.

March of Dimes grantees win the Nobel Prize in Medicine or Physiology for their discoveries on genetic regulation of organ development and programmed cell death (apoptosis).

The March of Dimes promotion of folic acid fortification and awareness contributed to a 21 percent decline in the occurrence of neural tube birth defects between 1995 - 2000.

March of Dimes launches a multimillion dollar, multiyear campaign to prevent premature birth and raise awareness of its serious consequences.

The North Building at The Salk Institute for Biological Studies is dedicated to March of Dimes volunteers, as part of the 50th anniversary of the polio vaccine.

Nobel Prizes are awarded to March of Dimes grantees Drs. Roger D. Kornberg and Craig Mello for groundbreaking discoveries on RNA and its role in human development.

March of Dimes advocacy leads to passage of the PREEMIE Act to bring together experts from the private and public sectors to speed development of prevention strategies for preterm labor and delivery.

March of Dimes volunteer efforts lead to increase in newborn screening. Nearly 90 percent of all babies born in the U.S. – more than double the percentage in 2005 – live in states that require screening for at least 21 of 29 life-threatening but treatable disorders.

If you read this timeline, without a doubt, there is something that the March of Dimes has helped make possible for you, your mother, sister,child or someone close to you. Without the March of Dimes funds research leading to the use of surfactant to treat respiratory distress syndrome, my daughters would not have been able to live as long as they did. Because of the surfactant I got those precious memories I have of my daughters. This is one reason I find it so important and so near to my heart to help raise funds for The March of Dimes. Won't you please help me help The March of Dimes?? You can log onto my personal page at or click on my March for Babies widget on the right side of my page and make a donation online. It is fast, easy and secure! Or join our team and walk with us! Thank you for helping me give every baby a healthy start!

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Some of you may know, I am very big on holidays. Actually anything that can be celebrated! I have been known, a time or two, to go a bit over board with parties. I spend way too much money and time and get VERY into it. My sons birthday parties are the worst, but they always end up great!I love having get togethers, BBQ's, parties, whatever! The work is always worth it. Well St. Patty's day is no exception! Here are a few pictures from throughout the day. We had fun!

There is a very funny story behind these gold coins he has. When he got in the car from me picking him up from school today, this is what he said.
Me: "What did you do at school today?"
Him: "Ummmmmm, we made those green smoothie things, ya know with the green stuff and green ice cream and whip cream...."
Me: "Oh Fun! Yummy!"
Him: "yeah, and we went on a hunt for gold coins. We had clues and had to find where the Canadians hide the coins!!!"
Me: " Uh, What?? The Canadians??
Him: "You know the little guys that play the tricks on you and they have gold coins?"
Me: "ohhhhhh, you mean leprechauns??" (laughing uncontrollably, seriously I had tears!)
Him: "oh yeah!! Leprechauns!!" (giggle giggle)

We had a very yummy lunch!
Jaden's Pizza with special St. Pattys green sauce! (It was pureed spinach and he ate it!!!) whoo hooo 2 points for Mom! Green milk and green grapes.

My Pizza

Dinner of Corned beef and Cabbage

Our Green Jello Dessert!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009


I get asked a lot of questions and put in a lot of awkward situations since losing my daughters. I thought that I would give MY thoughts and answers to you, in case you are ever put in the situation where you someone you know has gone through the kind of loss I have. Kind of a Do's and Don'ts. Every situation and person in different, so this is just how I feel.

Bringing a new baby around someone who has just lost their baby or gone through a miscarriage. For me, my "trigger" is baby girls. I have a very difficult time being around them. It reminds me of what I have lost and what I want to so badly. My advice on this situation would be to just use caution and put thought into how it may make the grieving mother feel. Put yourself in her shoes. I was put in a very uncomfortable situation one day when I ran into someone I hadn't seen in a while, with her 4 month old. She kept going on and on about what her baby was doing and showing me pictures, this person was very aware of what I had just gone through. All I could do was smile and nod, then went home and cried the rest of the night.

Should you invite a grieving mother to a baby shower, birthday party, etc.? My answer to this is YES!! I have been left out of a few things since losing the girls. There is nothing worse in a situation like mine than feeling alone. I find myself feeling alone a lot. I know the intention is to not upset your friend, but when they find out they weren't invited later, it hurts. My advice would be to send an invitation, but maybe add a note telling them you understand if they don't come. That way, there is not guilt on either side. I know I would like to make the decision myself and not have it made for me.

Should you tell a grieving mother if you are pregnant?? I have only had to deal with this indirectly. The person is very close to me but didn't tell me, I found out another way. I think you should tell the person if you are close to them, but don't be upset if they don't jump up and down and get excited for you. They will be jealous and most likely it will hurt them, but I think its better to tell them yourself.

Don't make a grieving mothers loss about you. It's not. Because I know a lot of people that I have talked to that turn my loss into how THEY feel about it. Not to be rude, but I don't care. I know that my girls touched A LOT of people and that their death affected many people. But I am sure there are other people to talk to about it besides me. I don't want to relive it over and over. I want to be the one to bring it up, not someone else. I do not in anyway mean for this to sound mean, and I appreciate how my girls touched lives. It just hurts to talk about.

These are just a couple of the things I deal with the most and wanted to get off my chest. If you want to ask me a question feel free to ask!

Saturday, February 28, 2009

I Got Tagged!

I'm not really sure what the rules are to this because my lovely friend who tagged me was a bit confusing! But I know it was something about the fourth picture in the fourth folder, but she has more folders and so on... Anyway, the picture in my fourth folder was my goof ball of a son, go figure!

This picture was taken right before our first time going to Supercross! Daddy had taken him and bought the outfit for him and they were goofing off taking pictures while I was getting ready to go. This was such a fun day! So exciting to see all those dirt bikes and of course my favorite rider, Chad Reed. The 3 of us definitely had a great time that day, good memories!
Now I have to tag 4 people, but I don't have 4 people to tag that haven't already done this. The only person I am not sure of is Suzie. So Suzie i tag you! And I would have tagged Amberlyn, Vicky and Keren as well, you can do it again if you want! LOL, I am sure Amber can find another fourth picture in a fourth folder somewhere!!

Motherly Advice

I need some input from all you out there. Jaden plays basketball on a team for the Parks and Rec. The #1 reason for me getting him into sports is for the exercise, and of course the interaction with the other kids is great too. My problem is the snack they have after the games. 99% of the time the snack that parents bring is something full of sugar and has no nutritional value what so ever. It makes no sense to me! Why have your kids run around and get exercise just to counter act that with junk?? So my question for all you out there is, What would you think if a parent brought bottled water and apple slices for snack instead of Capri Sun and cookies?? To me, I would be so happy to see this and am planning on bringing something more healthy on our week for snack, I just don't know what kind of reaction to expect from the other parents. What do you think?

Snack time

Jadens team

Jaden Shooting a basket

Thursday, February 19, 2009

I must be crazy

As many of you may know, my family loves our Wii. It is not uncommon to walk into our house and find at least one of us playing it. Whether it be Guitar Hero or Crash Bandicoot, we love it all! We have all the Guitar Hero games, including the drums. Whenever friends come over this is usually our source of entertainment. So, loving the Wii as much as I do, I had been wanting to get the Wii Fit for quite a while. I figured, "Why not? Try to get in shape and have fun on the Wii at the same time? Sign me up!"

Well, just a word of caution for those of you sensitive about your weight, the Wii Fit may not be for you! I spent $100 for this thing to tell me I am overweight! And not in a delicate way, it changes your Mii to look fat!
Not that this information is something I didn't already know, but really is it necessary to give my Mii a muffin top?? For some reason my Mii is the only on whose belly is showing from under it's shirt. Now maybe its because I am the only girl on there, but come on! This recent embarrassment caused by our dearly loved Wii has motivated be to work out a lot harder, but I still think it could have been a little nicer.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

A wonderful weekend

I have been a bit of a slacker lately and not blogging as much as I would like to, but life has been very busy around here! This weekend was a busy one, but we had so much fun! Friday night was pretty relaxed, we just hung out at home and Mikes sister and her boyfriend came over and played wii for a while. Nothing to exciting but its always fun when they come over because they bring their dog Panda, who we adore!! She is a blast to play with. Saturday morning for Valentines Day I got up and made my boys a Valentines breakfast! We had organic multigrain pancakes, chicken sausage, and fresh strawberries! It was so yummy! I had gotten these really cute heart shaped plates at Target so we used those and it was very festive! I gave them their Valentines gifts that I got for them and then we cleaned up and began getting ready for Jadens basketball practice. When I got done getting ready I came out and Mike had a gift for me, a beautiful pair of earrings to match my diamond journey necklace he got for me last year. I love them! He is always so good at picking out jewelry for me! I also got a box of chocolates and a rose. What a wonderful husband I have!!
So after that we went to Jadens basketball practice. It is always so much fun to watch all those little kids trying to learn to play! He is on a 3/4 year old coed team. When practice was over we realized he needed much more work so we went and bought him a new basketball and headed to the park to play around with him. We had such a great time! It was so nice to get out as a family and do something like that and it was so nice out. Jaden thought it was pretty funny that Mommy was playing basketball against Daddy! Hey, I used to play in jr. high! LOL!
We had a babysitter for the night and had reservations at Indochine in Tacoma for dinner, so I wanted to go get myself something cute to wear for our date. I spent a couple hours at the mall and got an adorable outfit! We ended up going and seeing a movie before dinner, Friday the 13th. I wouldn't recommend wasting your money at a theater. Wait for the video! Dinner was wonderful though! I just love that place! Their fresh spring rolls are so yummy!
Sunday was a bit less busy, but still a lot of fun. A couple of Mikes friends came over for a bit and played wii.. Then we went to dinner with my Grandparents for my belated birthday dinner. we went to that new Iron Chef place up in South Hill. I highly recommend it!! The food was delicious and they cook in front of you and add a bit of comedy. It was hilarious! Jaden said he wants to eat there every night! I don't know about that, but we will definitely be going back again soon.
So that was my fun filled weekend!! I am still trying to recover, I am a bit tired! I wanted to add some pictures to go with this post but my camera battery was dead when I tried to use it on Sat.!! Maybe next time!

Friday, February 6, 2009

Just a little thought....

Its funny where life takes you. After losing my girls I thought I would be depressed forever. But lately i am finding myself starting to feel happy again. I mean there are still those days where I do not want to get out of bed because the pain of missing them is so bad, but I am learning how to deal with that. I am really happy with the changes I am making in my life. My new hobbies are making me so happy. I am beginning to adapt to a healthy lifestyle for my family, which is very much needed! I am investing more time in relationships that really matter. The people who are here for me no matter what. The changes feel really good! Its just nice to know there is life after our tragedy and I will be ok. Knowing my girls are safe in heaven is a huge comfort for me. Hopefully things just keep getting better! What a crazy journey I am on!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Eat This, Not That

While shopping at Costco yesterday I came across this book. I have been wanting to read it for a while now and was surprised to find it there! I was so excited! I definitely recommend it to all you Moms out there! It has a lot of great information. It shows you how to make good choices for your kids in restraunts as well as the supermarket. Little things I never would have thought we bad are in there. It list what to choose at most fast food joints, cereals, types of PB&J, breads, the list goes on. For those without kids they also have one for adults. There are some recipes, exercise ideas and pages that show you what vitamins and good stuff are in different color fruits and veggies. Who knew that Spaghetti O's are better than Kraft Mac and Cheese!!!?? So, I just thought I would share my great find, you should check it out!

Monday, February 2, 2009

This is my life

I figure for my first post I should probably let you get to know me a bit. If you already do know me, you can stop here and wait for my next post or keep reading and maybe you will learn something new. First of all I am 27 years old, I have been married to my husband Mike for 3 1/2 years and we have 3 children together. Our first child is our son Jaden. He is 4 years old and definently keeps me busy! He is a very sweet kid but can be there biggest stinker you ever met! He fills my days with many laughs with his funny stories and also gives me many moments of wanting to pull my hair out! I wouldn't trade him for anything though. He is what keeps me going. My other 2 children are my daughters Emily and Allison. They are twins and unfortunately are no longer with us. Allison died 3 hours after birth and Emily 8 days later. They are my sweet angels. Let me tell you, being the mother to angels is just as difficult and rewarding as having living children. On a daily basis the make me just as happy, frustrated and exhausted as my son. I miss them more than words can say. I am so proud to be the mother of all 3 of my children. I will get more into the story of my daughters in later posts. It is a very long story.

Since losing my daughters in November my life has changed in a very big way. There are things that I have learned through my experience that I am really working on changing. I learned how important it is for me to have my own life away from my husband and children. Too may mothers define themselves as just a mother and wife and forget about themselves. If you don't get time to yourself to do the things YOU love to do, you'll go crazy, and to me that doesn't make for a very happy Mama! Life should be about more than the cooking, cleaning, and taking care of everyone else. Don't get me wrong, I love taking care of my family, but I need my ME time! So I recently have picked up a few new hobbies. I have renewed my love for reading. When I was young I read a lot and enjoyed it very much, so I decided to start the Twilight series and love them! I am totally addicted. I can spend a whole afternoon reading. Another hobby I have fell in love with is scrap booking. This is something I can't get away from! I love it! It is so much fun, especially since I have many friends who share the same hobby.

Another thing I have been working on is my marriage. Not that it wasn't great before, but we have really been working on spending a lot more time together. Going on date nights to the movies and dinner or to the casino. I am lucky to have a husband who I really like as my friend just as well as my life partner. We enjoy each others company and have a lot of fun together. Even just sitting at home watching Supercross together we have a lot of fun. I believe our experience of losing our daughters has brought us closer than ever. So that's just me in a nutshell. I have lots of stuff to talk about so I'm sure I will be blogging a lot more soon! Until then...